


Undesirable

by summerstorm



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling, Twilight - Meyer
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-24
Updated: 2009-02-24
Packaged: 2017-10-05 10:47:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerstorm/pseuds/summerstorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For a crossover drabble meme.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Undesirable

**Author's Note:**

> For a crossover drabble meme.

The first thing Hermione finds out when she starts working at the Ministry is that there is a fair quantity of topics missing from both Hogwarts and Magical Law training. The list opens with about five different types of shapeshifters, and ends with sentient magic carpets. 

Item number eight is marble-skinned vampires. To be fair, it would be troublesome to deal with creatures who place above human beings on the food chain, so they have an agreement: vampires are not allowed to drink magical blood, and wizards are not allowed to interfere with vampires' activities.

Of course, there is always the odd one.

"I'm Dr Cullen. Carlisle Cullen", the blond one says, and Hermione can't help the fluttering of her eyelashes. His skin _glows_.

Ron coughs beside her, and she shakes the hand Carlisle Cullen offers.

"Yes, of course. Hermione Granger", she manages to say. "This is Ron Weasley, my fiancé." She breathes in and steps away from the door. "Do come in."

There's a bit of a commotion regarding this case, and Hermione's not sure where a lawyer-in-training and a vampiric doctor come in, but she's nothing if not rigorous. She wonders if she should have brought along an entourage, too. Carlisle sounded quite sane on the phone.

They spend about thirty minutes discussing policy, in which Hermione blinks knowingly at least twenty times —with every ray of light reflecting on his skin— before either of Carlisle's companions speak up.

"Excuse me", the girl says, and all of a sudden Hermione feels a tad self-conscious about her hair. "I thought we were here to talk about Miss, uh, Black, was it?"

"Brown. Miss Brown. I thought it would be best to cover the case first."

"We were briefed over the phone, Miss Granger."

"I like to make sure everyone's on the same page, Miss Hale."

"We are", Rosalie states. "It's why we brought Nessie."

*

Nessie turns out to be a child conceived by a vampire, and a girl who should have known better. 

"How did this _happen_?" Hermione asks stupidly. Rosalie raises an eyebrow at her and opens her mouth. "Please spare me the logistics."

"We don't know", Carlisle says. "She was conceived during Bella's honeymoon with my son." Who is not his son, Hermione reminds herself. Bella smiles awkwardly at her from the armchair. She has a sweet, largely forgettable face, except for the lack of colour and imperfect features. Not unlike Lavender, really, which Hermione finds rather ironic. 

"While she was human", she repeats.

"Yes."

Hermione's having trouble making sense of this.

"She's fine, though," Bella says, and Nessie nods in agreement. "She's alive and healthy, she learns fast. . .she's just physically overgrown."

"No shit", Ron remarks, and Hermione glares at him.

Bella's smile gets even more awkward.

*

Lavender arrives an hour later. She looks flushed, and Ron's eyes fly to his shoes, as per.

"Sorry. Got caught up in traffic", she says as she sits down.

"You could've come by Floo", Hermione reminds her, and Lavender sighs and offers a frustrated smile.

"I tried. The network considers me undesirable."

Basically, Lavender got knocked up and poisoned by a vampire. Just a little bit.

"Anyhow", Carlisle says, "it's been two days. If she's not dead yet, I don't think she's going to be. Our poison is slow, but starts acting immediately, and Miss Brown has visible blood on her cheeks."

There's a giggle from the armchair, and Hermione looks up to an image that makes her shudder.

"That's nice that you two get along", Rosalie says coldly in their direction. Bella flinches like she's been caught passing notes in class.

At the end, Lavender decides she's not going to press charges. Hermione has never been able to make sense of that.

Still, Carlisle eventually becomes Rose's godfather, so not everything that comes out of the meeting is bad.


End file.
